Diabetes Jokes

Diabetes is a severe health condition and no laughing matter; however if you cannot laugh at it, what can you do? As they say, laughter is the best medicine; although it won’t cure diabetes, enjoying diabetes jokes will help reduce the stress you might be having due to this health condition.

This article features some of the best diabetes jokes; however, you should note that these diabetes jokes are not designed to upset anyone. In fact, they are meant to uplift you and encourage some giggles. With that said, let’s get started on today’s topic.

Diabetes Jokes

Here are some of the best diabetes jokes;

I’m not sick; my pancreas is just lazy.

What should you not tell your diabetes? Sweet dreams.

Why did diabetes win the heavy-weight lifting championship? Because he was good at pumping.

What did Santa Claus get the day after Christmas? Diabetes.

What is the drug of choice for diabetes? Diet coke.

I’m not allowed to consume anything that is too suite. I have typo diabetes.

How do you defeat a diabetic rapper in rap battles? With candy bars.

What is forbidden for a diabetic vampire? A sweetheart.

One of my diabetic friends came to me and said, “the high sugar meal I’m having is awesome! As we speak, I’ve already lost 35 pounds. Though it cost me a leg and an arm.”

Laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diabetes, insulin will be the highest on the list.

I’m so sorry to say that I lost my feet to diabetes. I feel defeated.

I was explaining to my wife how diabetes runs in my family. She said, “stop being silly. No one runs in your family.”

“Bartender, I would like a long island, a margarita, two beers, and two shots of insulin.”

A spoon full of insulin makes the sugar go down.

You are very sweet; you made me go into diabetic shock.

Walk for a cure? Would it not be faster if we just run?

A diabetic client went to a hospital, and once he got there, the nurse asked him for his urine sample. The patient complied, and a few moments later, nurse came back with the result and told him,

“I’m sorry to say that we have found high glucose levels in the urine. This means you have diabetes.” The man replied, “I’m still thankful for your help, nurse,” and the nurse replied, “sure, sweet pee.”

I went to a diabetes screening; it is a movie about sugar.

Type II diabetes once said to type I diabetes “you are so juvenile”

Please do not sugarcoat it; I’m diabetic.

What is the taste of diabetic blood? Sweet Irony.

What is the primary difference between a teenage boy and a person with diabetes? A diabetic pricks her/his finger around three times per day.

No insulin reaction that a chocolate sundae cannot cure.

I came across a dude mistreating a diabetic patient whose feet was amputated. I guess the dude was a lack toes intolerant.

There are two individuals who do not love Easter. Type I person on a diet and a type II diabetic.

Two diabetes. My doctor told me to type that.

What is the name of a diabetic dad? A sugar daddy.

Blood sugar is the world’s greatest scapegoat.

What is the worst part after going to your doctor and finding out that you have diabetes? You will not receive a lollipop afterward.

30 It is vital that you have some candy with you at all times. It can be a lifesaver.

I just killed a diabetic guy. It was a piece of cake.

There is a reason as to why it is known as diabetes and not liveabetes

When does one know is diabetic? When your favorite aunt is Aunt Jemima.

I asked my wife whether she was on her period, she asked me to check my blood sugar.

You are sweet; I went into diabetes ketoacidosis.

Life is like a box full of chocolates; it sucks if you have diabetes.

My doctor said I should not make puns on diabetes since it is a serious illness. I told him, I cannot help it, doctor; it is a pun-creatic disease.

I have a tight too diabetes. I’ve consumed lots of candy, and when I wear my clothes, I say these are tight too.

My workmate’s grandfather is hospitalized due to diabetes complications. He told me that he might lose his leg. He responded, “but, I’m very attached to it!”

I have a diabetic wife who once asked me why I stopped being nice to her. I said, “I cannot be sweet; you have diabetes.”

Have you heard about a guy who committed suicide because the doctor amputated his toe due to diabetes complications? I guess he was lack toes intolerant.

I love when my doctor does not sugarcoat things. It really helps because I’m diabetic.

What does the diabetic neckbeard require for survival? Incelin.

When life gives you a lemon, make lemonade using Splenda.

I’m still waiting for Apple to come up with the iPump.

Knock Knock.

Who is there?

The Bee Gees.

The Bee Gees who?

The BG’s a little high. Did you bolus?

Why do you call a diabetic a cripple? Because they are candicapped.

What is a morbidly obese bird called? Type coo diabetic.

Peter has 20 candy bars. He then eats 18. What does he have? Diabetes. Peter has diabetes.

I was on a diabetes awareness website, and it asked if I accept cookies. Isn’t that a trick question?

Diabetes runs in my family; because no one else does.

My friend has Alzheimer’s disease and diabetes. I asked her where her foot was, and she was bewildered.

Two obese individuals started fighting over a burger. Who won the fight? Type II diabetes. Type II diabetes won the fight.

Different doctors have told me that diabetes is in my head. I never knew you could have brain diabetes.

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